


Dichotomy

by lobo_chan



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Genderfluid Character, Homophobic Language, Other, Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 20:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11928273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lobo_chan/pseuds/lobo_chan
Summary: Hux meets the most beautiful woman he's ever seen at a First Order gala. No one seems to know who she is and he seeks to get to know her. Little does he know, but she is also his hated co-commander, Kylo Ren.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Signed up for the Kylux Mini Bang to try to work through some writer's block. Struggled for a bit and also life happened and I've worked down to the wire, but here it is.
> 
> Thank you [Mini-Mantis](http://mini-mantis.tumblr.com/) for the lovely art and the prompt. This wouldn't exist without you.

He was at some First Order gala planetside, one of his less glorious duties as a high-ranking officer. Sucking up to old Imperial bigwigs for continued financial support and schmoozing amongst officers looking to impress their superiors was all these things were. Ren was absent, of course. Typical of the big oaf, shirking his duties as co-commander of the Finalizer in favor of some mystical nonsense no doubt.

He was in the middle of explaining some of the improvements that had been made to the Stormtrooper training program in recent years to one of his father’s old supporters when he noticed her. She was late, arriving probably twenty minutes after the last straggler, but it certainly made her entrance noticeable. She wore a black evening gown with her hair gathered into two twisting buns on either side of her head and her lips were painted red. Still, he forced his attention back to the man he’d been speaking with so he could politely bring their conversation to a close before trying to find out more about the woman who’d just arrived. It wouldn’t do to be rude, especially when trying to garner support.

Hux was stopped by several people eager to meet the youngest general of the First Order on his way to where he’d last seen her, and he lost track of her entirely. It was a rather boorish colonel who wouldn’t let him go. The man was obviously trying to ingratiate himself to Hux, but the man also lacked the awareness to know when he wasn’t wanted. Hopefully he was good at his job since he obviously wasn’t good at social pleasantries. Kriff, if this man talked to too many of the people they were trying to court for money…

Someone rested a hand lightly on his arm, “Excuse me, sir, but may I steal the general away from you for a moment?”

It was that woman with the twin buns attempting to save him from the Colonel.

“Oh! Um, certainly, ma’am.” The colonel looked between the two of them before turning and leaving to no doubt find someone else to bore to death.

She pulled her hand away and took a step back, resuming a distance more suitable to strangers rather than intimate friends. Now that he was close, he could see that her lipstick was the color of a deep pool of blood, and she had drawn dramatic wings around her eyes. And was that glitter on her cheeks?

“Good evening, General Hux.”

“Thank you for saving me from Colonel Datoo. I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage.”

“Pardon me,” she extended a hand, “I am Berrie.”

He lifted her hand gently to kiss the back of it, “A pleasure. Is that a given name or a family name?”

“It is my name.”

“My apologies,” he straightened, “And as you already know, I am General Armitage Hux.”

“Yes, the famously youngest and highest ranking general of the First Order.”

Stars, he hated it when people brought up his age. At least her tone didn’t seem to indicate that she thought he wasn’t qualified, as so many people had tried to imply his entire kriffing life. He’d let it pass for now.

“And are you with the local delegation?”

“No, no,” she waved dismissively, “I’m not from any planet.”

Ah, so she was like him, a refugee who had lost their home planet with the fall of the Empire. He would have asked her more, but then it was announced that dinner would be served soon. Seating was, unfortunately, assigned.

She bid him farewell and went to a table far away from his.


	2. Chapter 2

He couldn’t find any record of Berrie, searching either as a given or family name. She was not in the First Order database, but he’d already known that she wasn’t part of their military. Searching the Holonet just gave him suggestions of “did you mean berry/berries” or “did you mean Naberrie”? Pfassking hell, without a second name to string together, the only way to find her through a search would be if she was incredibly famous.

He tried putting out subtle feelers through some of his contacts. Unfortunately, the latest response he’d gotten just told him what he knew already, that she had been at the gala and supported the Order and no one seemed to know her from previous social events.

He switched off the screen on his datapad and tossed it onto the table angrily.

“Careful, General,” a synthesized voice came from behind him.

He rolled his eyes, “Kriff off, Ren.”

“You don’t want to damage your precious equipment, do you?”

“Of course not, you already take up most of that budget. What was it, three training droids and a door last week?” he turned his chair around to face Kylo, who was, predictably, skulking ominously behind him. How he managed to hold a lunch tray and still look menacing was… Not impressive. Pathetic. “You know, I’m surprised you don’t use your all-powerful Force to open doors for you when you forget your code.”

A burst of distortion came from the helmet. Was that a huff? Kriff, that helmet was so stupid. Ren was probably ugly and had a girly or whiny voice since he hid behind that mask and vocoder all the time…

Kylo stormed off, stupid little cape swishing dramatically.

Hux’s datapad, which had been a safe distance away from the edge of the table, fell to the floor.

“Prat,” he muttered, and went back to his meal.


	3. Chapter 3

It was months before he saw her again at another fundraising gala. It was a struggle to suppress his curiosity and attend to business first instead of going to her immediately. Once he had spoken to a few key figures, though, he rewarded himself by asking her to dance.

 

                She smiled coyly and extended her hand, letting him lead her to the dancefloor.

 

                A waltz was playing.

 

                She danced gracefully, keeping in perfect step with him the whole time.

 

                The next song was faster, but he felt they had fallen into a comfortable rhythm with each other. Dancing was enjoyable, but he wanted to _know_ her.

 

“I must confess, I tried to find out more about you after our last encounter.”

 

                “Careful, General, you wouldn’t want to give the impression of being a stalker.”

 

                “I’m sorry. It’s just that no one seemed to know anything about you…”

 

                She laughed, “I’m teasing.”

 

                “Oh. Of course.”

 

                They danced in silence for the rest of the song before taking their leave of the dancefloor. Had he just kriffed up his chances with her? Why had he even mentioned that? Yes, I looked you up please tell me about yourself I’m not creepy or desperate.

 

                “Come along, General,” she guided him to an empty table in a corner, grabbing two glasses of champagne along the way. She placed one before herself and one across from her and looked at him pointedly.

 

                He sat obediently.

 

                “So, tell me what you found out about me.”

 

                “Not much, really. It’s quite difficult to find anything with just a single name and no planet of origin or anything to narrow a search.”

 

                She smiled.

 

                “I heard from other attendees of the gala we met at that you are originally from Republican space.”

 

                “Mmhm.”

 

                “Other than that? Nothing useful. You have a knowledge of history and art. You talked to Governor Ciero’s wife at length about her dogs. You left alone.”

 

                “She has some adorable dogs.”

 

                Hux snorted and took a drink of his champagne, “The Holonet simply asked me if I meant berries or Naberrie.”

 

                “Naberrie was a good queen and senator.”

 

                He raised an eyebrow, “She was a Republican.”

 

                “So was I once.”

 

                He drank more champagne. Best not to comment on that one.

 

                “Padme Amidala Naberrie stood for what she believed in even when everyone else was against her and did what was best for her people. She may have been on the wrong side, but her conviction is… inspiring.”

 

                “Do they teach about her in Republican schools?”

 

                “Yes. She’s well thought of there,” Berrie lowered her voice conspiratorially, “Though they all fail to mention that she was married to the man who became Darth Vader. _That_ is a secret that takes a lot of digging to uncover.”

 

                Hux’s eyes widened slightly, “And how did you uncover that bit of information?”

 

                She smiled, “I have my sources. But she was wife to Vader and mother to Skywalker and Organa.”

 

                He shook his head, “That sounds like something out of a gossip rag.”

 

                Berrie laughed.

 

                Wishing to venture into safer conversational waters, Hux steered the conversation towards a comparison of what they had been taught of the rise of the Empire. The Republicans had truly cast Naberrie in the light of a martyr, striving to restore power to the Senate and stop the rise of Emperor Palpatine before her untimely death. On Arkanis, however, she was little more than a footnote, more focus being given to the Delegation of 2,000 as an entity and their ultimate failure to stop the rise of the Empire and the fall of the corrupted Senate. The differences were fascinating, both sides conflicting and agreeing to form a sort of puzzle of what the truth of the matter might have been.

 

                As talks of history tend to do, their conversation eventually turned to current politics. Why the First Order had formed out of the ashes of the Empire in the Unknown Regions, where everything was the farthest from the heart of the New Republic and therefor farthest from the minds of the Senators. The failure of the New Republic to deal with matters efficiently and how it tended to leave its people without support because everyone was busy talking, talking, endlessly talking about problems instead of solving them. Berrie cited benign neglect as the greatest sin of the Republic, and, ultimately, why she had left.

 

                Hux veritably floated back to his transport after she gave him her comm information.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Hux waited several cycles before sending a comm to Berrie. It wouldn’t do to look too eager, and… he was uncertain what to say. Try to continue their previous discussion about history and politics or go for something more personal? What level of formality should he use? Did she have some sort of rank that he was unaware of because she delighted in being oh so mysterious?

 

               He finally settled on:

 

_Berrie,_

 

_Thank you for giving me your comm information. Dancing and speaking with you was a delight. I hope to see you at the next gala I attend._

 

_Armitage Hux_

 

Stars, a delight? He didn’t want to sound like a cheesy romance novel. It was too late, though. All he could do now was wait.

 

                Her response came late in his sleep cycle and was waiting for him when he woke up for his shift.

 

                _Berrie: You’re not a bad dancer yourself, General. And, so long as nothing else interferes, I expect to be at future galas._

 

Thinking about it while he got ready for his shift left him with just the insipid:

 

                _Have you been doing anything interesting since the gala?_

 

He saw at his lunch break that he’d received a response.

 

                _Berrie: I’ve been reading a good book when I’m not busy._

 

_Hux: What is it?_

 

_Berrie: It’s a murder mystery that takes place in Hutt space._

 

_Hux: Tell me about it._

 

And so he spent his lunch learning about the plot to a book that was… really over the top. The protagonist’s best friend had been murdered and they were trying to find out why and it might or might not have been because of a Hutt crime syndicate because the friend was secretly involved in the spice trade and there was some sort of maybe romantic subplot with a Twi’lek but the Twi’lek might have connections to another syndicate and so far the most reliable lead was a blind man.

 

                As he messaged Berrie over the following weeks, sometimes in real time and sometimes a message or two that would wait for the other, he learned several things about her. One, her taste in literature was a bit garbage when it wasn’t history. Two, she loved animals. She was also extremely well-travelled and had a strange sense of humor.

 

                She happily compared histories with him when they discussed which ones they’d read, and she sent appreciative messages when he sent pictures of his cat or talked about her latest exploits. She would also listen as he talked about engineering and give suggestions if she was able, though her knowledge seemed to be mostly about ships. All in all, she seemed the perfect conversation partner.


	5. Chapter 5

Ren stayed back after the meeting. The other officers filed out of the room quickly, used to the arguments between their general and the knight and not wanting to get caught in the crossfire.

 

               Hux sighed, “What is it, Ren? If you have something to contribute, actually speak during the meeting next time.”

 

                “Andaluvia has a large non-human population.”

 

                “Yes. And?”

 

                “The Order’s speciesist propaganda does not serve you well.”

 

                He resisted the urge to run his hand through his hair, “Get to your point, Ren.”

 

                “The Supreme Leader isn’t human.”

 

                “A fact which very few know.”

 

                “Your propaganda to First Order allied planets lifts up the humans while casting doubt upon the non-humans. What’s to stop future officers from finding out Supreme Leader’s identity and turning against the Order because they were raised to believe humans are innately superior?”

 

                “Officers with that kind of clearance are carefully vetted first.”

 

                Ren just stared at him with that expressionless mask.

 

                “Ren, the propaganda we send out is calculated to increase loyalty to the Order. If it causes some civil unrest between the races? We are able to step in and help, which further deepens their trust in us.”

 

                “The Republic is the real enemy.”

 

                “And when a people feel safe from one enemy, they need another enemy to turn their focus on. Otherwise, they easily become splintered, disorganized mobs.”

 

                Ren shook his head and stormed out of the room, fists clenched. Surprisingly, he didn’t destroy anything this time.


	6. Chapter 6

His datapad dinged with a new message.

 

               _Berrie: Have you ever considered the benefits of recruiting non-humans?_

 

Well, that was seemingly out of nowhere. Their last exchange had been about… favorite pieces of literature. That was it. He typed back a quick reply before going back to his paperwork.

 

                _Hux: There are a lot of potential problems with mixed forces. Different basic needs would need to be accounted for as well as considerations of how troops would function together. Devaronians are human-like but carnivorous and their biology is different. Equipment could be easily altered, but supply and medical needs would cause problems logistically._

 

                Kriff, there was a lot of paperwork to get in order to prepare to spend some time on Andaluvia for the treaty signing. He’d still have his datapad with him and could theoretically work from the surface that week, but he was also going to be expected at various talks and parties while everything was finalized.

 

                _Berrie: But the right team could be suitable for any number of situations. Humans have terrible night vision, but any number of other species have superb night vision or other senses that would aid in night attacks._

 

_Hux: Night vision goggles._

 

He could just picture her frown at his dismissal.

 

                Okay, if he was unavailable for a week, Starkiller would need so much material available to them first, and priority should be given to work in sectors…

 

                _Berrie: It would also help the Order’s image._

 

_Hux: How so?_

 

_Berrie: Do you think you’re at all popular on planets that aren’t human dominant? The Republic may be lacking, but at least they have members of all species in visible positions of power. Humans might flock to you, but the others will continue to support the Republic until you offer them opportunities for better lives. Not just promises, but something real and concrete that they can see._

 

                He sighed and ignored the message. Of course she would think that, having been raised in the Republic.

 

                _Berrie: One of the greatest tacticians in the Empire was a Chiss._

 

She was not right. If she was right, then Ren was right. If Ren was anything, it was not right.

 

                _Berrie: What’s to stop the non-human minorities of First Order planets from joining the Resistance because they felt persecuted by your regime?_

 

Hux sighed.

 

                _Hux: I’ll think about it._

 

She didn’t message him again the rest of the night.


	7. Chapter 7

Hux was surprised but also happy to see Berrie on Andaluvia. She had a charm about her that made others want to listen to her, and her presence also allowed Hux to focus his attention on individual representatives of the Andaluvian people instead of having to try to schmooze each and every one of them. The other senior officers and governors at the treaty signing were competent, but he didn’t trust any of them like he trusted her. So what if she was mysterious? She was on his side and none of his snooping had turned up anything that seemed to indicate she was a spy.

 

               They barely spoke to each other at all that day, both busy with their work. She did, however, come find him in the evenings when he was alone.

 

                They spoke of the treaty talks and which representatives to target and strategies for the next day before turning to other topics. She still pointedly brought up the speciesist propaganda a few times, but was willing to back down for the time being to focus on more immediate matters.

 

She begged him for pictures of Millicent, bemoaning the fact that she was never in one place long enough to have a pet though she had wanted one ever since she was a child. Her parents had been in an on again off again relationship and moved frequently due to work before leaving her with her uncle, who ran a school and couldn’t be seen favoring one student over the others and wouldn’t allow a pet because then every child would want one and the place would be overrun. Hux hadn’t had a pet as a child because his whole childhood had been training, training, training, until he could become the best officer his father could make of him. When he became the youngest general in the First Order, however, he took advantage of his position and stationing on the _Finalizer_ to finally get the cat he had always wanted.

 

Hux, who hadn’t been allowed as a child and hadn’t had time as an adult, had never read a fairytale. Berrie loved them and delighted in reading a few of her favorites to him on their third night on Andaluvia. They were simple but held a certain charm, and Berrie would talk about variations on them and their significance, like the difference between the tale where the young padawan was eaten by the vornskr or learned new Force techniques through battling and escaping the beast.

 

In turn, Hux spent the next night telling her stories of his Academy days and some of the conflicts he’d been in as a lower ranking officer. Only the stories that made him look good, of course. It wouldn’t impress her if she learned about the time he’d had his arm broken in hand to hand combat training or a route he’d been on the losing side of.

 

He’d never spent so much time with her before, physically, only seeing her for a day or two at most. He almost wished the negotiations would never end so they didn’t have to part, but he had a superweapon to build and a war to run. So when the treaty was officially signed in just a bit over a week? It was with mixed feelings. Elation at having accomplished a goal mixed with disappointment that they would be leaving the next day.

 

When she came to visit him in his quarters that night, he hugged her in the doorway in an uncharacteristic emotional display. When she laughed and asked him what had gotten into him, he blamed the champagne.

 

“Stars, I wish you were involved in all of my political talks.”

 

“You do well enough on your own, Armitage.”

 

He hated his first name, but it sounded alright when she said it.

 

“Everything just runs smoother with you around.”

 

She waved dismissively, “A bit of charm and the promise of riches will solve most problems. Intimidation will do the rest.”

 

“You have enough charm to make the intimidation unnecessary.”

 

“Flatterer.”

 

“What?” he smiled, “I’m just acknowledging the strengths of an ally.”

 

Berrie rolled her eyes, “And I’m a wookie’s uncle.”

 

He kissed her.

 

She froze in place.

 

Hux drew away. Kriff, he’d read things wrong, hadn’t he? Now she was going to leave.

 

She reached out and slowly, gently threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him close to kiss him back. It was the lightest brush of lips, teasing, unsure. She hovered mere inches from his face afterwards, and he quickly closed the distance. Her lips were so soft and red and perfect, and she was so sweet. Little pecks became more lingering kisses, and she breathed a soft laugh when their kisses became more open mouthed.

 

It seemed forever but also not enough when they paused to catch their breaths. She was so beautiful, face flushed and lips shining.

 

“Stay with me tonight?”

 

She shook her head and looked down.

 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want. I just want to be near you.”

 

She blushed an even deeper shade of red, “Maybe another time, Armitage.”

 

He tried not to show his disappointment when she left moments later, but her shy kiss in the doorway gave him hope.

 

Nearly half an hour later his comm dinged with a message.

 

_Berrie: Goodnight, Armitage. Tonight was…_

 

_Berrie: I enjoyed tonight._

 

He typed back quickly.

 

_Hux: I’m glad._

 

_Hux: Goodnight, Berrie._

 

He stared at his comm unit as he tried to fall asleep that night, but no more messages arrived before he finally drifted off.


	8. Chapter 8

It was nearly a month after the Andaluvian treaty signing when he got a message from Berrie while on the bridge.

 

_Berrie: When do you get off shift?_

 

Well, that was unusual. When they messaged, they either messaged in real time when both of them were available or just waited on the other to respond, no urgency to it.

 

_Hux: In another four hours. Why?_

 

She did not respond for the rest of his shift, and he went straight to his quarters when he was done. He could have food sent to his quarters later. Whatever was going on, it was probably important.

 

_Hux: I’m free now. What is it?_

 

He promptly received an invitation to a holocall. Yet another anomaly. He pressed the accept button and positioned his comm unit for a call.

 

Berrie’s face projected from the unit. She had on a bare amount of makeup today, her eyes lined and her lips merely glossed over, and her hair hung behind her in a simple braid. And she looked pissed.

 

“Armitage Hux, you son of a bantha!”

 

He blinked, “Berrie?”

 

“You changed the terms of the treaty without telling me.”

 

“It was a minor added clause.”

 

“Minor? Minor?!” Her image cut out for a moment as she moved out of the comm’s range on her end. “You took all of the human orphans under five for your trooper program.”

 

“The Order needs troops.”

 

“Troops who won’t see combat for at least fifteen years? You are stealing people’s lives from them. Those kids are being given no choice about their futures, not to mention how your program takes away their very names.”

 

He took a deep breath. Stay composed. “Berrie, the Outer Rim is different from the Core. Without us taking them in, those children would grow up alone and in poverty. We’re giving them a future and a purpose. The Order will be their family.”

 

“And in exchange they don’t get to have names? You might as well use clones if you don’t want your soldiers to have identities.”

 

“Clones share uniform weaknesses and- “

 

“And what about the ones who aren’t naturally violent? You can push them to violence, but it sure as hell won’t make them loyal. Will you kill off the weak ones, the ones who don’t fit your trooper mold? You can’t just take and abuse children like that for the sake of your cause. What will the adults in your territories think if they know where your troopers come from? What’s to keep your troopers from turning on you?”

 

“Our current program has produced the best stormtroopers in history, and they are carefully conditioned and monitored to make sure of their loyalty to the Order.”

 

“I was raised to believe in the Republic and look at me! Here I am, helping you topple the Republic.”

 

“That’s different.”

 

“No it pfassking isn’t!”

 

He slammed his hands down on his desk, “What would you have me do, then?”

 

“Train adults. Then they’d at least have a choice and believe in your cause. And it wouldn’t take twenty damn years to train a new soldier.”

 

“Adults have doubts and value themselves more than the cause. They’re slower to learn and don’t- “

 

“Slower than _twenty years_?”

 

“Next thing you know you’ll be demanding a clone army, or a droid one. We do not have the resources for that. Besides, you’re not even military.” He knew as soon as he said it that he’d gone too far, but it was too late.

 

She screamed and her face was cut off by an image of her hand and then a solid object, and then the comm dropping the line. She’d thrown her comm across the room.

 

Hux turned off his comm and slumped back in his chair, suddenly drained. When truly angry, she was just as exhausting as Ren. Hopefully she would calm down and things would go back to normal quickly, as they had with her arguments on speciesism, but she hadn’t been nearly as heated then.

 

Stars, he was glad Ren was off on some wild bantha chase after a map to Skywalker and not here to bring up his stupid clone army again.

 

* * *

 

 

It was three cycles before she would respond to his messages, and nearly two weeks before she would send more than a chilly response. He didn’t know how many times he’d sent that he was sorry. Sorry for yelling at her, sorry for belittling her for not being a member of the military, sorry for not discussing the orphans with her. That last one had gotten him a cold “When your troopers start defecting, don’t expect any pity from me”.

 

               He didn’t want to admit that she was right, but the more he thought about it, the more he started to question things. He’d been raised as a soldier for as long as he could remember, and he was loyal to the Order. But was everyone? She was right that she’d defected from the Republic despite everyone around her supporting it and the schools indoctrinating the children from a young age. But she couldn’t be right that the program he’d helped develop had such deep flaws as she implied. If she was right, then Kylo kriffing Ren was right.

 

                Seeing her so passionate about something had been both terrifying and beautiful.

 

                She finally seemed to forgive him after he promised to look into the possibility of changes in the system, starting with letting the children keep their names.

 

                Slowly, they regained their former rapport.

 

                It was over a month since their argument when she confessed that she was lonely and wished that they could be together again like on Andaluvia.


	9. Chapter 9

Hux stormed down the corridors of the _Finalizer_ , officers and troopers alike seeing him and instantly getting out of the way. The general normally demanded respect, but today he was on the warpath.

 

               _Enough is enough. Supreme Leader’s favorite or not,_ no one _assaults my crew! If he were under my command, I’d have him court martialed and reassigned to sanitation on the most backwoods planet in the Unknown Region. Why do I have to share command with this man-child? Pfassk._

 

He finally reached the door to Ren’s quarters and keyed in his override code.

 

                The door opened with an unsatisfying calmness.

 

                “Ren, this is the last straw. If you think you can get away with- “

 

                Kylo… Berrie? turned to face him, dropping something small. It was Kylo’s body, his robes, but Berrie’s unmistakable face. The freckles and moles, the plush lips, brown eyes, and hair halfway into an elaborate style involving lots of pins and braids. She wasn’t wearing any makeup currently, but he’d recognize her anywhere.

 

                The door closed behind Hux.

 

                “What the kriffing hell?”

 

                “Get out of my quarters.” God, even her voice without that stupid vocoder, though he’d never heard her angry before.

 

                “What is the meaning of this?”

 

                “General, leave, now.”

 

                Hux clenched his fists at his sides, “Did you have a good laugh? Oh, look at the general, fawning over a woman who doesn’t exist! Won’t it be a shock when he finds out it was all a ruse? What did you hope to gain from it?”

 

                “Get. Out.”

 

                “Does Supreme Leader know? Was anything you told me the truth? Did you tell your knights about how you got your rival to kiss you and he didn’t even know and wasn’t it so _funny_?”

 

                Kylo picked up his helmet from its stand and threw it at Hux, who barely stepped to the side in time, “I said get out!”

 

                “No,” Hux strode over to Ren and backhanded him, hard, “You listen to me! I will not tolerate you assaulting my crew and I will not tolerate being made a fool of. Kylo or Berrie or whatever the kriff you call yourself, I will _destroy_ you if you cross me again, Supreme Leader’s favorite or not.”

 

                Ren pushed him back with the Force, which was a very disconcerting feeling. It was like a huge wave coming to press against you, and your only options were to go with the flow of that energy or to be toppled over.

 

                Ren was shaking.

 

                “I should tell everyone that you like to dress up like a woman.”

 

                The door opened behind him and another wave forced him out of the room.

 

                The door closed.

 

                There was a moment of silence, and then the familiar screaming and crashing of one of Ren’s temper tantrums.

 

                Hux turned and headed towards the shooting range. He may be boiling with rage as well, but at least _he_ was civilized enough to take it out in a healthy manner instead of destroying the ship they all lived in.


	10. Chapter 10

He’d been… disappointed to not see Berrie at the celebration of the successful destruction of the Hosnian system. She was a lie, but she was the life of any party and he _missed_ her.

 

                Hux did not have much time to reflect on his feelings before everything fell apart.

 

                The Resistance somehow got past the planetary defense systems and his life’s work was crumbling. Then Supreme Leader sent him to go rescue Kylo’s dumb ass from whatever kriff up he’d gotten involved in in the freezing cold on a planet about to die. He did his duty, finding the Knight face down in the snow and having a couple of Troopers transport him to an escape shuttle as safely as possible with the wounds he’d suffered.

 

                While the Troopers made sure they made it safely out of the blast radius of the dying planet, Hux set to work fixing what he could on Ren. His clothing had to be cut off so Hux could actually see what was wrong with him and deal with it. Pfassk, his wounds were terrible. It looked like he’d been shot as well as burned, probably with one of those stupid lightsabers. At least the burns cauterized the wounds, though, stopping him from bleeding out unlike the kriffing hole in his side. The hole took the majority of the bacta in the escape shuttle’s medical kit as well as all of the temporary synthskin he used to hold together what normal bandages wouldn’t. The shoulder got the rest of the bacta. The burn ointment Hux found at the bottom of the kit would have to do for the burn on Ren’s face.

 

                Then all there was to do was wait, comm the fleet, wait some more, put in coordinates to meet back up with a star destroyer, and wait.

 

                It was nearly two hours after takeoff when Ren finally woke up.

 

                Hux was slumped in the chair at Ren’s bedside, wishing for sleep but knowing he couldn’t because he had a fleet to run and a knight to keep alive until he could get proper medical attention. A loud groan and Ren moving his uninjured arm jolted him back into wakefulness.

 

                “Don’t move, you’ll open your wounds back up.”

 

                “Hurts.”

 

                “We’ll deal with that once we get back on a proper ship.”

 

                “Happened?”

 

                He took a deep breath and held it before letting it out slowly, “Starkiller Base was destroyed. The Resistance got in and damaged the thermal oscillator. You were wounded and left in the snow and Supreme Leader sent me after you.”

 

                 “Oh.”

 

                No one spoke for a good ten minutes. Had Ren fallen back asleep?

 

                “He was there.”

 

                No, still awake.

 

                “Who was there, Ren?”

 

                “M’ father.”

 

                “Ah.”

 

                It would still be another two hours before they could rendezvous with the nearest star destroyer. Two hours of listening to Ren ramble deliriously, apparently.

 

                “He called me Ben.”

 

                “Mmhm.”

 

                Pfassk, was Ren crying?

 

                “Never called me Jamie, always Ben. Then he takes _her_ in, treats her like his daughter. He never treated me like his son, let alone his daughter.”

 

                The light in the room started to brighten and dim slightly.

 

                “Ren…”

 

                There definitely were tears running down his face now. Hopefully the burn ointment was thick enough that the tears wouldn’t get into the wound.

 

                “’M Berrie.”

 

                “Alright, then, Berrie,” Hux rested a hand lightly on… Berrie’s uninjured arm, “Please calm down before you hurt yourself or damage the ship.”

 

                Berrie cried quietly for a few minutes, but calmed down slightly if the lights were any indication.

 

                “Hux?”

 

                “Hm?”

 

                “Why do you hate me?”

 

                “I…” he took his hand away, “You’re always causing trouble and damaging my ship and you… you lied to me. You made me look like an idiot.”

 

                “Didn’t mean to.”

 

                He laughed bitterly.

 

                “I didn’t… dress like a woman to seduce you. I just… I _am_ a woman. But I’m also a man.”

 

                Unless he’d somehow missed something when cutting Ren’s clothes off of him…

 

                “There’s dark and light in the Force and… there’s male and female in humans. And I’m both.”

 

                “So it’s some mystic thing?”

 

                “Kriff, you’re dense,” Ren sighed, “No. It’s who I feel I am.”

 

                “Oh…”

 

                The silence stretched on and on this time. A Trooper came in with updates on their ETA and, seeing that Ren was awake, promptly left.

 

                Hux snapped awake when he felt someone touch him.

 

                “I miss you.”

 

                “I’ve… missed you too.”

 

                Kylo, Ren, Berrie, whoever, held his hand until he had to leave to go comm the ship they were rendezvousing with. If it brought him comfort, he tried not to show it. Everything could wait until after the immediate crisis was over and Ren had gotten proper medical attention.


	11. Chapter 11

Ren required extensive treatment for the wound in his side. But of course, stubborn ass that he was, he tried to get up the very next day instead of giving his damn body a chance to heal. Hux had ordered med bay to keep him updated on Ren’s condition, so he knew almost as soon as the tantrum started to get down there. None of the personnel had been hurt, but a med droid and some supplies had been destroyed when they tried to stop Ren from leaving. The human personnel had had the sense to retreat into the next room while they waited on the General to come and fix things for them.

 

                A nurse unlocked the door for him.

 

                Ren stood in the center of the room, panting. The broken med droid was in a crumpled heap against the wall, tables and trays overturned and supplies thrown across the room. The bed at least was intact.

 

                “Ren.”

 

                He turned to glare at him, “General.”

 

                Hux took a deep breath and held it for a moment before commanding the nurse to lock the door until he said otherwise.

 

                “Get back in bed, Ren.”

 

                “Let me out so I can resume my training.”

 

                “You’re in no shape. It’s a miracle you haven’t opened your wounds back up with your tantrum.”

 

                Ren continued to glare at him.

 

                He sighed, “Kylo… Berrie… Please.”

 

                The knight let out a shaky breath and, slowly, carefully, made his way back to the bed.

 

                Hux picked up a chair and brought it over to the bedside.

 

                They sat in silence.

 

                “I’m going to kill her.”

 

                “The scavenger?”

 

                Ren nodded, “She scarred my face.”

 

                “She helped destroy my weapon.”

 

                “She scarred my _face_ , Hux.”

 

                “But she missed your eye. At least you can still see.”

 

                “You don’t get it!” The lights flickered.

 

                Hux was silent.

 

                “I worked so hard to be beautiful and now my face is ruined!”

 

                He reached out and caressed the unmarred side of the knight’s face, “I still think you’re beautiful… Berrie.”

 

                She held his hand against her face and cried.

 

He spent what little time he wasn’t on shift or sleeping in the infirmary. Hell, he fell asleep in the infirmary a couple times visiting her. Him. Them? He brushed Kylo’s hair so that he wouldn’t pull at his healing shoulder and attempted to braid her hair when she asked him to. She was polite enough to stifle her laughter after his first try. Braids, when executed properly, helped reduce the number of tangles that developed while she had trouble taking care of her own hair.

 

And they talked.

 

Hux avoided bringing up anything Kylo had said on the transport after Starkiller. He wanted to know of course, to understand, but the emotional turmoil around the whole situation was… intimidating. It was easier to just pretend nothing had happened. Just like it was easier to pretend that he’d never hit Berrie when he found out that she was Kylo. If he was good to her now, it would make up for being horrible in the past, right?

 

Then Kylo had to go and break the unspoken truce towards the end of his convalescence.

 

They lay together in the small med bay bed, Kylo resting half on top of Hux. Three more days until the medics thought the knight could be released, and then he would have to travel to Snoke to complete his training soon after. How long would it take? Would he be the same when his training was complete? Would Hux manage to maintain his rank as the immediate crisis calmed down and-?

 

“I killed my father.”

 

Hux carded his hands through Kylo’s hair absently, “I know.”

 

“I thought it would feel different.”

 

He would gladly have killed his father.

 

“I thought I wanted mine dead, too.”

 

“Please don’t- “

 

                Kylo rolled over to face Hux, supporting his weight on his uninjured arm, “I wouldn’t have to if you’d stop avoiding things.”

 

                Hux sighed.

 

                Slowly, grudgingly, he let himself be pulled into the conversation.

 

                Solo and Organa had never meant to get pregnant, but sometimes biology just happened. Both of them were more interested in their jobs than their son, and Solo had not been at all accepting of his son also being his daughter. Organa had tried, but she couldn’t make sense of her child being two things at once instead of one or the other. She’d accepted Jamie as her daughter, but would try to reassure her that she didn’t have to be Ben to fit people’s expectations and to make her life easier and to just be Jamie. Solo only ever saw a boy in a dress. Their personalities as much as their child had driven them to break up over the years, but they always got back together again and started fighting again within the year.

 

                Like Kylo, Hux had also been an accident. Commandant Hux had an affair with one of the staff who then got pregnant, and begrudgingly took his bastard with him when the Empire fell. His wife couldn’t bear him an heir, so he had to take what he could get, something Armitage was reminded of constantly when he failed to live up to expectations. And he was never enough for his father, no matter how well he did in school or how fast he rose in the ranks.

 

                Berrie had thought that killing Solo would bring her peace, give her closure on that part of her life and the struggle between the Dark and the Light that she felt every day. Instead, hearing the man who’d raised her use her dead name after all those years? It made her realize that he would never see her for who she was. That no matter how much time passed or how far she ran, she could never truly escape Ben Solo.

 

                Hux held her while she cried, shared soft reassurances that, together, they could destroy anyone who stood in their way or hurt them.

 

                He apologized for ever calling her a man in a dress.

 

                And when the day came that Kylo finally had to leave to finish his training? Hux waited for him in the hanger and kissed him goodbye.


End file.
